2007-09-24

The busy paradox...


I hate being "busy". I hate the sensation of feeling like there's too much to do and not enough time in which to do it. You know what I'm talking about. It's filled with laundry, dry cleaning, vacuuming, dishes, returning phone calls, sitting through meetings -- all the banal activities that seem the hallmark of adult life.

The flip side of that coin, though, is that without any pressure on my time -- if I get to pick and chose what I WANT to do, it seems like I get NOTHING done. The way life seems to go is that I work so hard to unburden my schedule that by the time I get some "free time", I'm tired and all I want to do is relax. So, I end up filling the hard fought non-busy time with stuff that's not particularly important, like catching up on TV shows that aren't that interesting anyway, writing this blog, immersing myself in pointless pop culture, or playing video games.

I'd like to believe that I'm a highly evolved being with fine sensibilities and a greater purpose, but the realities of everyday life seem so utterly pedestrian as to drive out any thoughts of my life being remotely sublime. So in the end, which is better? A day busily spent in unremarkable work, or a relaxing day spent doing nothing in particular? Why can't I seem to do a little of both? In the end, what I'd really like is to be busy doing important things.

Okay, so I'm oversimplifying. There are some things I do everyday that are sublime, I just wish I was doing more of them.