Intimidating Women & ROI

It's been a year since I left the old college town that I loved so much. It took a fair amount of time to acclimate to my new and more metropolitan surroundings, and one of the biggest adjustments has been to the increased caliber of the women in the dating pool. I've noticed that men have a word for high caliber women: intimidating, and it's rather unfair, but let me explain why.

These women are successful, intelligent, and poised -- all things that make them all the more desirable, but it can give you a serious inferiority complex. When a women has a successful career, a great education, and everything she appears to need, it makes you wonder what you could possibly offer. It doesn't help that a quality woman is usually busy with all sorts of worthwhile activities: callings, volunteering, taking classes, dancing, singing, rescuing orphans and hedgehogs, you name it. And let's be honest guys, is this the sort of stuff that we do with our free time? Not usually.

So, in some ways it seems laughably absurd to suggest to a woman like this that she take some of her time to go out with you. If you were to view dating and relationships like a business venture, its a simple question of ROI (Return on Investment). Are you really making her a good offer based on the value of her time?

To be successful, you have to believe that you are, implausible as it may seem. And why do I bring this up? Because it's something I struggle with. For some reason I'm attracted to really smart, talented women. (I'm attracted to hot, ditzy ones, too, but I realize that's mostly chemical.) Maybe I should lower my expectations like Calvin. (Okay, not really.)


  1. It's nice to hear a guys point of view on this. People are constantly telling me that I don't date because "I'm intimidating" which I really don't see, but whatever.

    So us women that try to keep a good head on our shoulders go around dateless while the "hot, ditzy" ones get all the dates. Doesnt make sense.

    FYI to all men: the females (especially in this SLC demographic) appreciate the effort of any sane male who expresses interest. That's what is more frustrating than anything, that no one will step up to the plate. Initiative is what we crave.

    That's my 2 cents anyhow.

  2. So, that begs the question, (at least to me) of what constitutes initiative?

  3. Amen to that! Initiative is taking the chance on that "intimidating" girl. Why can't smart girls with a drive in life get a date? Guys are taught to marry up, so what are girls to do? Marry down? Not so. Besides - you got what it takes to make the ROI for the girl worth it...be brave, stand tall, and call those "intimidating girls" because more than likely you will find they are the ones willing to give anyone a chance.

  4. You may just be surprised at the result of asking out one of those such women you describe. There is always the chance they will say no, but there is also a chance they could say yes. You never know until you ask. You have a lot to offer and some of those "intimidating women" have probably noticed.

  5. Anonymous posts, boo!

    Okay, I'm kidding. If you feel you want to post anonymously, that's okay.

  6. glad you are ok with the anonymous post...I didn't want to be intimidating or anything ;)

  7. Ayn Rand wrote, "The argument from intimidation is a confession of intellectual impotence." ...perhaps we're dumber than you think.

  8. Ahhh, Ayn Rand, my old nemesis. We meet again!

    Doesn't the argument of intimidation imply that the perpetrators act willfully to intimidate and impugn the character of the victims?

    I hope that's not the case, or I'm doomed.


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