I bought an owl two weeks ago. And, as Dave Barry would say, I am not making this up.
....But he looks less like this:
....And more like this:
He's hanging from a branch in my cherry tree, swaying and turning gently in the breeze. You probably wonder if it felt odd to buy an 18 inch plastic owl. Yes, a little. I figure that's why they invented self checkout.
But my sheepishness has yet to be rewarded. The birds that are raping and pillaging the tree for freshly ripened cherries seem completely unbothered by my owl. When I come out of the house in the morning, it sounds like some sort of deranged sale, a cacophony of shrieks, chirps and flapping, like women fighting over the a pair of discount shoes. And then, as I approach the tree, the birds explode out of it, sometimes a half dozen of them. So, this leads me to believe that they are completely unafraid of my plastic bird of prey. Maybe they have a grasp of physics and realize that he's essentially floating in mid-air?
I'm even pretty sure they pooped on him. As if being plastic wasn't hard enough.
See, John. This is why you have to pick up a life-size cardboard stand-up of Richard Simmons, like I have. Works like a charm.
ReplyDeleteJohn Visser you are absoluely hilarious! I miss you oh so much! I laughed to hard at this story! Did you ever see 'Failure to Launch'? The roomate that hates the bird outside was one of my favorites!
ReplyDeleteHey if you want to get rid of the birds eating your cherries, you need to go to a garden store and buy silver streamers. They are what we hang in our tree and it scares the birds. They are like a metallic silver streamer that reflects and scares them. It works here with all our fruit trees. Give it a shot - it might work. Our owl didn't work either - just was a "dropping" spot! :)
ReplyDeleteThose plastic owls should be taken off the store shelves. We had one hanging above the entry door at work...the pigeons still perched and pooped.
ReplyDeleteBTW - I'm voting for full beard on your facial hair poll, but just know that it's not really with a "full" beard I think you look best. It's when you have the beard really short...so it's not so thick & dark.
I had no idea what plastic animals would engender just a response! It's wonderful to hear from all of you.
ReplyDeleteFor everyone's imformation, the beard style i settled on is the full beard, but I trim it once a week to about 1/8 inch, and I shave my neck. I hope everyone approves.