Grandpa and Grandma...

Grandpa and Grandma are two of my favorite people. They've been married for 63 years. That's downright amazing any way you look at it. Like all married couples, they have their little tiffs and bickering, which, more often than not, are hilarious to the casual observer.

Once I called to get directions to their place for an upcoming visit. I got Grandma first, who dutifully transferred me to Grandpa, who began to describe how to find their condo. What follows is a transcript of the phone conversation:

Me: "So, I take I-80 North."

Grandpa: "Yes, take I-80 and get off on 13th East."

Grandma (who we had no idea was still on the phone) interrupts: "Morris! The sign doesn't say 13th East. It says 1300 East."

Grandpa: "LaFonda, I'm sure that John knows that 13th East is the same as 1300 hundred East."

Grandma: "Well, not everyone knows that sort of thing..."

Grandpa: "He's a bright kid, I'm sure he can figure it out..."

Grandma: "... even so, you never ... "

Grandpa: "Fonda, he doesn't take after your side of the family!"


I still laugh about that conversation today. It may have sounded mean, but I assure you it was just a little sparring match to keep things lively. I hope my wife and I are still poking fun at each other when we've been married 63 years.

Fish and Chips

I took yesterday off to go fishing with my Grandpa and brother. There's nothing quite like spending 8 hours on a lake and doing absolutely nothing -- it was man heaven. We didn't even talk that much; just three guys out there, dragging lines our lines in the water as the wind pushed the boat around..

Most of our minimal talking revolved around the tuna fish sandwiches Grandma made us. We wanted to bring those whole roasted chickens, but apparently Grandma was appalled at the thought of her husband and two grandsons out on the boat tearing at a chicken like Neanderthals. We concluded that's exactly WHY we wanted the roasted chicken.

When I got into the office today, I noticed that one of my mischievous coworkers had played with my Mr. Potato Heads. Someone took the bunny ears off of the Easter Potato Head and put them on Darth Tater. How immature is that?!?

What the?

In my new community, it seems like everyone is out on Sunday evenings: families on bikes, young couples with strollers, power walking women, and of course, lots of dog walkers. But today I saw something that I had never seen before: a man walking a large black lab, and a woman, presumably his wife, walking a goat -- complete with leash and collar.

Foiled again by air travel...

I've traveled a fair amount for work in the last couple of years. I thought I was pretty savvy. I know how to get through security quickly, when to use the sky cap, where to find the outlets to charge my laptop, when to book flights when they're cheaper, etc. But, today, I was totally flummoxed by our modern air travel system.

My flight left early. Let me say that again... MY FLIGHT LEFT EARLY. When does that ever happen? Like a lot of business travelers, I have the timing down perfect so that I don't waste too much time sitting in the air terminal . But, to have someone just up and decide to leave early, well, that's unheard of! What do you tell your boss when you miss your flight? That they decided the plane was full enough and just decided to go? Yeah, like he/she is ever going to believe that. Luckily, I made my flight anyway. The ticket agent warned me that the plane was leaving early (information that would have been useful YESTERDAY.)

But even though I made my flight, the airline had even more in store for me. My weakness, you see, is that I hate carry-on. Yes, I know it's faster and there's less chance of losing a bag, but it's so nice to be able to just slip into your seat without heaving something into the overhead bin, and then risk getting crushed when you have to pull it out again. And, in all my travels, I have NEVER lost a bag. So, I usually tempt fate and check it, like I did this morning. The problem came when I arrived at the destination and went to the baggage carousel -- and waited, and waited, and waited. There was an announcement over the PA saying that our bags were at a different carousel, so a whole bunch of us stampeded over there to wait some more. Then, bags arrived, but from a totally different flight. It was now nearly an hour since we landed, and I went back to the original carousel. It was then that I noticed all this luggage lined up against the wall, with people from my plane looking scouring for their luggage. So, I did the same. And surprise surprise, I found my luggage! Against the wall, nowhere near either designated carousel.

Was this some kind of cruel arline joke? Or did our luggage somehow leave early, too?

Please Hold...

I'm on hold with Papa Johns. I hate it when they put you on hold. The thing I don't understand is why they ask if you will "hold". What do they do if you say no? Will they immediately take your order? Is that why I was on hold for 15 minutes, because I was the only one polite enough to be put on hold?